I read an article earlier today in my Redbook Magazine. I wouldn't normally subscribe to Redbook but a friend of mine bought me a subscription when they had their buy one get one free promotion. Pretty nice, wasn't it?
They have a section that is written by a man called WHYS GUY. (Oh look he has a blog on their site, but not the article I'm going to talk about). This particular article is in the February 2011 magazine, and it's titled "Where did the love go?"
In the article the Whys Guy is basically complaining of how his wife gives all the attention to the children instead of him. They don't have a typical household setting, since he works from home and his wife leaves the house to work. I know some men are SAHD (Stay At Home Dads), and some men just dream about it. I know most woman with children dream about it, and I did it for quite a few years.
Being a stay at home parent is very difficult. You get all the rewards of being home with your children AND having the time to do the household chores, in exchange for "being someone" other than "mom". When you stay home you start to REALLY crave adult interaction. You start wanting to talk to anyone that is anywhere close to eye level. Grocery store clerk, gas station attendant, people at the park, etc.
I remember waiting for Scott go get home. I'd try to time dinner just right so it would be done when he got home. Have everyone pick up all their stuff in the living room so it looked nice. Then he'd work late (and not call to tell me) and we'd end up eating at the table without him and my resentment would build up. He'd come home grab his plate of food, usually eating it cold to "punish himself", sit in front of the tv and eventually fall asleep on the couch. Eventually I quit worrying about cleaning up, setting the table, sitting at the table, and making nice meals.
I wanted to be mad after I read this article. How dare that Whys Guy be jealous of the time his wife was spending with the children? She works all day. She has to leave her kids! Now I think I've figured out that I'm a little jealous of the WANT that the Whys Guy had for his wife. He really wanted to spend time with her (and no, not just for sex, although he wanted that too). He missed their time of just being the two of them.
I miss those days when it was just us too. When it was so easy to have a conversation. When we couldn't wait to rush home and be together. Not that I'd give my kids up for anything.
How do you keep that spark going in your marriage? What do you talk about? Do you have some kind of hobby that you do together? I'm curious how other people do it.Pin It