Monday, June 27, 2011

Visit to the Care Home: Charlie

Melissa, Trevor and I went to see my father in law at the care home today. He was actually walking down the hall with his walker when we were coming to see him. He's moving along pretty fast. It appears that now he is ok with staying for as long as they think he should. I think my mother in law had a bit to do with that, telling him he needs to stay there for his therapy.

My father in law has a room mate. The room mate's name is Charlie. I'd guess Charlie to be about late fifty's or early sixties. Charlie has a wheel chair, a walker, his feet all bandaged up and special velcro shoes. He wears adult diapers but also goes in the bathroom.

I'd talked to Charlie a little bit when I was visiting my father in law. He was telling us how FIL is lucky that he has so many family members and friends coming to see him. I asked him, "you don't have any family?" He said no. Then awhile later he said that he had a wife, who lives with her boyfriend. A daughter that is waiting for him to die to get money, and he used to have friends that he paid to visit him until he ran out of  money.

I can't help but feel bad for Charlie, sitting there in that little room for who knows how long. He said he's been there "a long time" and "this place sucks" is something he says on a regular basis.

Today he had the curtains drawn all around him. I don't know if it was because my FIL has had so many visitors or what. Charlie was also sounding really cranky. He asked the nurse to close the windows and turn on the heater. It's like 90 today so the first thing I'm thinking is that Charlie must have a fever. I saw them bring him him a blanket, close the window, and heard him bitch that they wouldn't turn on the heater. I think he got up and turned the heater on (no small task for him to get out of bed). Later I heard him say that he was a diabetic and has no circulation.

Everytime we leave I ask my FIL if he wants anything. Today I took a chance and peaked around the curtain (I was really hoping he wouldn't get mad) and asked Charlie if I could bring him anything. At first he said no and I went through a small list of things. Life Saver? Gum? Magazines? Books? Word search? He kept saying no but then right before I gave up he said I could bring him some Life Savers and gave me a tiny smile. Then later I remembered he's a diabetic so I guess I'll be looking for the sugar free ones. I think I'll get him a few different things. It's really got to suck to be in that situation.

Doesn't it make you wonder how people can just give up on a family member? I mean, it could be that the guy was a total dick to everyone so they just wrote him off. I DO have a few family members like that. BUT maybe they used to love him and just find it easier not to see him anymore? It just seems so sad to be all alone in the world.Pin It


Anonymous said...

Julie that is soooo sweet of you! reminds me of Desperate Housewives when Susan befriended the groucho guy while they were getting dialysis done. Keep it up! I'm sure it makes him feel better even if you just say hi and talk to him a bit!


sarah said...

You have such a big heart!! Kill him with kindness..sure it will win him over. How sad to see someone like that. :o(

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