Thursday, August 16, 2018

What's bouncing around in my head today..

Trevor asked me to pick him up after school today. He said to go to the gym but I knew that was code for "hang out with the girlfriend." He asked me to pick him up at the store where my dad works. I drove up and texted him and called him but no answer so I went inside. It was quiet when I got there so I talked to my dad for a few minutes (Trevor finally answered that he was down at McDonald's waiting for his milk shake). While I was talking to my dad he told me that they are thinking of moving to Arkansas. It's cheaper to live there and my step mom's grandson lives there, which he confirmed was a reason to move there. I was like we'll I'd probably see you about the same amount of time, which he kind of chuckled and said yeah.

And here is where I get pissed off even though I try REALLY HARD not to let this bother me. My (bio) dad lives 12 miles away and has ZERO relationship with any of his blood grandchildren (all mine since I'm his only blood child), but he wants to move across the country to be with the golden grandchild.  I try to rationalize this with my kids had two other sets of grandparents who actually took the time to be in their lives, and my step brother's son has just them. Although maybe he has his mother's parents too, I have no idea. It just make me angry that we aren't worth the effort.

They come to some parties that I invite them to but we do not get invited over to their house and it's not the kind of atmosphere where we can just "drop by" like most parents are. I have not been in my dad's house in years and it's because I haven't been invited over.

We used to trade off doing Christmas at each other's houses but then I guess that was too much for them or something because that turned into we'll get together in January (that never happened) to a Facebook message of "Merry Christmas".

I keep trying to just not care but it's hard. I guess it will be easier if he moves away. No having a good time when we actually do get together, to make me wonder why he doesn't want me in his life the rest of the time. I'm pretty sure it's mostly that he just doesn't think to make any plans that include us. It is what it is I guess.

And that is why I originally texted the kid that I was there so I wouldn't have to go inside. I swear ever time I do I end up upset later.

It's so annoying to me that I let this get under my skin. It makes me ANGRY that I care.Pin It

1 comment:

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

This is because of his wife or Arkansas would not be on his radar.
His wife controls him and he allows it. If he weren't married to her he would be different with you. I know having a step mom that says to my father, "George we must include so and so" that she brings the peace in the family. So I really believe that she has a LOT to do with this. (bitch) But your father should be strong enough to say, "Hey I wanna see my kids"

I'm sorry this is hurting you. Sometimes families really suck don't they?
We can go tit for tat some day over buckets of cocktails.
Honestly it's amazing how they can hurt us and not even get it or say as in my case, I'm too sensitive." Yep that's it, it's all me.

We love ya Julie and I'd just pop over all the time and bug the shit out of you if that helps. :-)

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