Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sad Day

I went to a funeral today.
It was for my cousin's wife.
She was only 41.
They have 2 young kids. Ages 9 and 7.
All I could think about the whole time was there was

"who will take care of the kids now?"

I know there are some good single dads out there.
I hope my cousin will be one.

And then I was thinking

"if something happened to me, who would take care of my kids?"

I can see my husband letting my oldest do everything for everyone. And my kids foraging for food. But really it probably wouldn't be like that because my mom would step in.

And take over.
She's just that way.

So back to the funeral. They live way in the hills, almost to Yosemite. It's very pretty up there. The funeral was in this little tiny church and it was FULL. People were standing outside. And that was after they put up chairs BEHIND the casket and in the rows next to the pews.

Was I bad for thinking that when I die I hope that many people come to my funeral?

Obviously she was loved. I didn't know her very well. I mostly went to show support for my cousin. While I was sitting there there was a girl across from me sobbing.

She knew her.
Really knew her.

I felt bad that I didn't feel that pain that she was feeling.

My tears were for the little kids. And for my kids. I can't imagine not seeing my kids grow up. It makes me cry just thinking about not being here for them.

After the service they did a caravan to the cemetery.

The little tiny cemetery up on a hill. It was so small all the cars wouldn't fit inside. We parked and walked towards where they had some chairs set up, but didn't go all the way. At first I didn't even see where they were going to bury her. Then I realized it was over in the little bend across from the chairs.

They put her casket there and the pastor started to talk.

He had to stop and regain his composure.
After he said his final prayers they started to lower the casket.

I have seriously never seen that done except for in the movies.
As I was looking that direction I saw the children.

Watching their mother's casket go in the ground.

I turned around and walked to the car.
I was glad to see my dad and step mom did the same. We got in the car and went to the community center place and waited for everyone to get back.

When my cousin came back (the sister in law to the deceased) she said it was horrible.

They actually buried the casket while everyone was there.

WHY??

Those poor children watched the whole thing.

My heart breaks for them.Pin It

8 comments:

Kitt said...

How sad. How very sad.

insane mama said...

OMG, why did they put the caskit in the ground with everyone there? That is nuts.
That is the weirdest thought, to think who will watch your kids IF you go. But it's a normal thought. I'm sorry, it is so hard!
Especially for the kids, and how do you explain death? Thank goodness most of us don't have to go through too many funerals. Get some sleep :)

insane mama said...

So I have to ask, was it the cute little wooden church near Curry Village? (in yosemite valley) cause if it is... I swea one day I will get married there, it is so cute

Gina said...

We do that over here in the UK. The family is then invited to throw handfuls of the dirt over it to start the process of filling in the grave. It acts as a sort of closure on the whole ceremony.
I've 'laid the soil' a few times. To me it doesn't seem weird, it's a chance to say my last goodbyes.

love and hugs xxx

Molly said...

I think if you have never been to that kind of funeral before, it is a shock, but I think it is a good way for closure like Gina said. Although when children are so young, it is very very hard.

And I am the same, I would want lots of people at my funeral too! It is just validation that you meant something to someone. I have noticed that the younger you are, the more crowded the funeral, yet the older, there doesn't seem to be many there. I am sure this is probably because many of your friends have passed before you, or you have just pissed so many of them off because you become a crotchety old person!

So sorry that your family is having to go through this, especially the young children.

Bottles Barbies & Boys said...

That is so sad, makes me want to cry for those kids too.
I can't imagine the pain and confusion they will experience!

Jeff & Aleigh said...

I stumbled across your blog from my friend Alaina's and read this post and had to comment. I cannot imagine those poor kids, especially watching their mom being lowered into the ground. That's horrible and something that could give them nightmares for quite some time. I hope they're able to get some comfort from their family.

Outnumbered2to1 said...

Wow, that is too sad. I always worry about dying before my children are raised. I know, it is so morbid but will anyone love them as much as me?

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